FIRE!!!!!!!!

OK..First, let's talking about chafing.   For those of you who have not experienced this yet, I will give you a brief description of what it is; basically a sandpaper-esque burn somewhere on your body made by a shirt, shorts, hat and/or anything and everything that touches you.  Sometimes when this occurs, you don't really know it is happening until it is too late......

I have experienced this on my inner thighs and body glide helped..great! however..recently..I received it somewhere else..... ..........dum dum dum...:::scary interlude::::.....

Before I reveal the location I want to share with you a recent purchase I made:

Motorola Atrix 4G Android Phone Accessories Kit: Black Neoprene Exercise Armband 

by Motorola

This is the exact title of the armband I purchased off of Amazon.com about a month ago.  I chose this particular product since I have a Motorola Atrix 4G as my phone and also use it as my source of music (Pandora rocks!).  I thought, perfect!!  An armband made specifically for my phone!!  Well...after just wearing it twice, I was a bit more educated on this....

1.  This could probably fit any size phone/ipod or other device...I know this because it is larger than the picture shows and swallows my phone.   This prevents me from pressing any keys while in use (quite different than the picture showed..)  I thought..oh well, I can make this work!  I proceeded to place a folded up tissue at the bottom of the phone pocket to create a bit of "lift" for my phone and makes the keys accessible..DONE!

2.  This armband was either made for a body builder or I have a BIG problem with the size of my arm.  The little velcro piece that seals the band to your arm is HUMUNGOUS and would need to wrap around my arm twice to fit.  No worries...since I live with McGiver, this was fixed by using a safety pin..EASY PEASY! 

3.  OK......this was the last straw,...... I inserted my tissue to hold the phone in place...safety pinned the band around my arm and went for a 5 mile run.  By the time I came back, I felt great!!  Until....I showered......

BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy Moses...My underarm burst into flames!  You know, the soft part of your arm that is impossible to firm up?  You should have seen the flames that were shooting off my arm!!  I wish I saw them too....good thing water was pouring on them to put them out instantaneously so they wouldn't burn the apartment down!  The smoke though...filled the apartment and fire trucks had to come to make sure everything was safe and sound.  Imagine trying to explain to firefighters and police (of course they were there too!!) that an armband caused a fire.  They didn't immediately believe me about the flames or the smoke, but don't worry, I think they took my word for it.   
--Side Note:  OK, I may have exaggerated a bit on the fire, smoke, and emergency response...but I do guarantee the pain felt as if it were true--

(4) Days later I still have the scab under my arm and am back to square one on searching for a new armband